When experiencing estrangement from a loved one, we feel a myriad of emotions. The internal trying to make sense of it, the mental roller coaster ride with its ups and downs, loops and jolts, can be wearisome.
Whether we are the estranger or the estranged, It’s important to guard our hearts against the root of bitterness. There’s a pretty good chance that resentment or bitterness has already played a big part in the scenario anyway.
Bitterness is more than just an emotional state that involves sadness, resentment and anger. It can evolve from feeling unappreciated, unloved, disrespected, insulted or injured.
There are consequences that bitterness has on our physical health that cannot be overlooked. It fuels our stress levels which in itself can lead to many other physical issues.
Research has proven that chronic bitterness can weaken our body’s ability to fight off infections and illnesses. I’m not one get sick often, so when I do, I make it a practice to ask myself if what I’m experiencing is associated with any unhealthy, negative feelings like resentment or bitterness. A persistent release of stress hormones suppresses our immune system’s proper functioning - so not only do we have an “open door” for infections and sicknesses, our bodies can’t recover as quickly when we do get sick.
Our bodies also become more susceptible to risks of high blood pressure, which in turn adds to the possibility of heart disease and stroke .
Digestive issues, sleep disorders, accelerated aging, and chronic muscle aches and pains are also some of the ways bitterness can affect our physical health.
We also need to look at the fact that there is the spiritual aspect of bitterness. Bitterness at its core is a self-protecting judgment that we make about someone else. It seems like Jesus may have spoken once or twice about not judging others.
Hebrews 12:15 instructs believers in this way. “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.”
This scripture offers us a solution to bitterness! It’s not just a command and warning against it.
Bitterness is subject to the grace of God. When we offer our bitterness to God, He provides a grace that empowers us to live above it. Grace is the power to be and the power to do what we can’t be and do in our own strength! God’s grace has many facets to it. Grace is the basis of our salvation. Grace is also the enabling power to fulfill the will of God, as well as strength for obeying his word. In many instances of estrangement, bitterness is the root, that has empowered the problem, by both the estranger and the estranged!
Bitterness is also BLIND! It keeps us searching in the wrong direction, and only leads to deception.
According to the above mentioned scripture, the root of bitterness causes trouble, and defiles us.
Listen, I get it - estrangement is painful! Bitterness only adds to the pain, and increases chances of more pain, physically and spiritually. There is a grace that helps us to forgive. There is a grace that brings health and healing to our hearts and souls.
What is our response to God’s ability going to be? Will we release the bitterness. It’s at the root of many negative consequences we may be facing. It’s at the root of trouble in our lives. Let’s not fail to obtain the grace to forgive and move forward beyond the bitterness.